We’ve all heard of the friend zone; it’s the frozen tundra of the social world where men unite in their inability to get laid.
As females, we love the friend zone. It’s just the right amount of male companionship without the feeling of restraint or control. Most men will go up in arms over the friend zone. They say it’s cruel, unfair and a gender bias.
This is one of the many areas of the dating sphere where boys are wrong. The friend zone is all too real for women, as well; men just may not realize it. It’s called the “bro zone.”
The bro zone is the area of female abandonment that happens somewhere between having a “Transformers” marathon with us and touching our butts. When a girl is in the bro zone, she’s just that: a bro.
She is no longer a majestic feminine creature of sexual desire and pleasant smells; she’s your Guitar Hero challenger and your blackout buddy.
In light of the plethora of friend zone spotlight and lack of bro zone attention, I have provided you with the top five warning signs that indicate the descent into the bro zone.
How you respond to these flags is at your own discretion, but the information is nice to have, don’t you think?
He always sees you in your sweatpants
I’m not talking about your Lululemon yoga pants that make your butt look unnaturally perky (as they should for $300).
I’m talking about your oversized middle school volleyball sweats with the hole in the crotch and the coffee stains on the leg.
You’ve subconsciously realized the inability to appear sexual to him, so you figure, “What the hell?” You’ve surpassed the beginning stages of seduction and landed straight in the old-married-couple stage where attraction is slowly dwindling.
Proceed with caution.
You’re his late-night Taco Bell partner
If you’re in the bro zone, your bro will realize something the men we date seem to forget at the beginning of relationships: Women eat, and we f*cking love it.
Once you’re in the bro zone, he’ll not only realize your need to eat like any other functioning human, he’ll realize how much you eat.
He’ll mock you about how you can successfully kill three tacos and a baja blast, but secretly, you know it doesn’t truly bother him.
You binge-watch inappropriate TV shows together
Most girls find it embarrassing how inappropriate our sense of humor is. We may roll our eyes at the fart or penis jokes our boyfriends make, but if you get us alone with the movie “Ted” and a bottle of wine, we’ll laugh until sounds come out of us we never thought existed.
You’re in the “ugly Snapchat face” zone
We know this zone all too well. Mostly reserved for our roommates or close siblings, the ugly Snapchat zone is a subcategory of the bro zone.
It represents not caring how hideous you look when that front-facing camera comes on. You no longer roam around looking for good lighting, or let your hair down.
You screw up your face into the most disturbing, hobbit-looking expression you can muster and let your bro have the privilege of viewing it.
This is the ultimate level of trust and respect. Because God forbid he chooses to screenshot, you’re indebted to him for life.
You crash on each other’s couches (then get a good hangover breakfast)
Let me start with a PSA to females: Guys don’t sleep in the same bed during sleepovers. THIS IS A REAL THING. They choose to sleep on the couch or the floor to avoid getting too close to their bros while sleeping.
This is totally different than women, whose female friends are our new cats. Meaning, we cry to them and cuddle with them when we’re feeling particularly lonely.
Once you’ve reached the bro zone, you’re at the male equivalent of a sleepover. If you’re blacked out and too far from home, your bro will willingly offer you his couch to crash on, but don’t get too close to his bed — you might turn desirable.
Respond to these bro zone warnings as you will. Some women enjoy the bro zone, preferring male companionship to female. That’s totally fine; don’t let social standards of the dating world affect who you’re friends with.
If you want to be one of the bros, be the best damn bro you’ve ever been.